Starting today, I will be consuming what the average Haitian is consuming.

Starting today, I will be consuming what the average Haitian is consuming.

Before the 7.0 quake ravaged our neighbor to the south, Haitians living away from the capitol city of Port-au-Prince had a rough go of it. Many fought for survival. Many more do today. I cannot go to help these people if I do not feel their pain, their hunger.

Just reading stories of what they go through isn't enough for me. I have been raised in a country of privilege, with privileges afforded to me by my ancestors. Of course there are the "haves" in Haiti, but, unfortunately, the "have-nots" are the major majority.

If I were too hungry in this country, I could find something to eat. There are many who say, "We have our own hungry here, why don't you focus on them?" Because if someone is hungry in this country, there is a food bank or soup kitchen or homeless shelter to feed, house and clothe them.

How much do I have that is of my own doing? I had a head start with a great set of parents who taught me and provided for me. I started out on my own, and when I fell behind, they graciously picked me up, deserving, or not (usually the latter). I joined the Coast Guard out of High School and many opportunities fell in my lap, I didn't have to look hard for many of them. I married my sweetheart, had two great kids with her, own our home (or, I guess the bank own it), and have two incredible jobs.

I say all this to highlight how incredibly lucky, blessed, whatever you want to call it, I am, WE are. If you are reading this, most likely you are like me, doing your best to provide for your family, feeling lucky once in a while to live where you live. I know that I tend to easily take the basics of clean water, ready meals, and basic shelter for granted. It is so easy to say that I feel bad for the Haitian people, it is another, for me, to do something about it. I choose to go to help, I choose to eat as they do, I choose to feel their hunger and thirst.


Therefore, as of today, I am on a diet of 500 calories, nothing but water to drink, and some sugared milk for desert. I remember having the little Haitian children on board the USCGC Tahoma and, while slowly steaming toward repatriation and hunger, doling out one thing that brought smiles to their faces: sugared milk. The parents were in the background singing their soulful songs and having evening prayer services.

While on the subject, I do find it difficult not to mention the state of my spirit. It is tormented by conflicting thoughts. The group I am going with is from the Baptist church. My father, with whom I am going, is still very involved in his Baptist church, the same one I was raised in. I, on the other hand, took a detour that had me going in a different direction spiritually. Years later, when I realized that it wasn't spiritually healthy, I bailed. It has left a bad taste in our mouth for church, but it really isn't about all that, I am seeing. It's about my own relationship with God. And how I need to be close to Him. I am also resolving before all of you to take a deep stock of my beliefs, my heart and my life in these weeks leading up to boarding a plane for Haiti. I think I'm gonna need peace in my heart for this one. Peace and compassion.

Signing off,
-Steve